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Comic Book Writer’s Guide - Chapter 3: The Art of Dialogue

Scripting comic books can be tough on a writer – while a prose or poetry writer is fortunate enough to see all of his or her work in print in the finished product, a comic book writer only gets to see the dialogue and captions, with the bulk of the written script serving as the “man behind the curtain” as far as the reader is concerned. Unfortunately, this leads many writers to cram their pages full of unnecessary captions and banter, something that can detract from the effectiveness of the story overall.

One of the best by-products of solid writing is immersion,
a word that critics use to describe stories that are able to make readers forget about their own world for a moment and get “sucked in” to the writer’s instead. Dialogue plays a vital role in the immersion ability of a story, and there are many theoretical “rules” that govern its success:

1) The “Hulk” Rule – Characters who speak in short, gruff sentences are read as brawny and impulsive (The Hulk) while characters who speak in long, flowing phrasings are read as intelligent and cunning (Bruce Banner). What is interesting about this principle is that in the reader’s mind, the sound of the character’s voice is affected by the phrasing of a sentence.

For example, if the Hulk is at a restaurant and needs to be served, he’ll impulsively yell, “Service, now!,” causing the reader to hear him as a loud, obnoxious oaf. Dr. Banner, on the other hand, might ask politely, “May I please have some service?,” causing the reader to hear him as calm and collected.

Here are some examples of how the words a writer uses can drastically affect the reader’s internal voice of a character:

The manner in which a character speaks is often as important to the reader as the way the character looks. A character’s manner of speech is often as distinguishing as his or her appearance. After all, if the Hulk spoke as eloquently as his alter ego, would he really be such an endearing character?

2) The “cause and effect” rule – Dialogue, like action, is all about cause and effect. For every line of dialogue spoken, there should be a response, which can either be a line of dialogue, an action, or a beat (a screenwriting term for a scripted pause). Every response should generate a counter-response, every counter-response should generate a counter-response in kind, and so on. Characters should not speak unless they are entering into this flow, though exceptions are made for monologues, soliloquies, and narration.

3) The “talk like a normal person” rule – Dialogue reads best when it sounds sincere, and it is difficult for dialogue to ring true to a reader if it doesn’t sound like something a real person would say. Screenwriters can get away with poor dialogue because actors and directors are able to control the way it is delivered. But comic book writers have to construct dialogue that is performed by the mind of the reader, which means it needs to be plausible to be taken seriously.

As a general rule, characters should speak in plain, everyday language while avoiding slang as much as possible. I refer to this as the “modern heroic voice,” though it applies to most villains and minor characters as well. Readers can relate best to characters with characters who can fit into their world, and while storytelling is fantasy, stories are far more convincing when they seem to be plausible.

Incidentally, many writers struggle with writing characters with whom they are unfamiliar. Children are a prime example — they are difficult to write unless you spend a lot of time around them, and they often come off as either too cute or too adult. They are generally best avoided as characters unless the writer has a good understanding of how they speak and think. After all, there is a fine line between a cute character and a patronizing one.

4) The “one thing at a time” rule – The human brain has difficulty reading text and processing images at the same time, and people tend to recognize what is going on in pictures before they can comprehend the accompanying words. As a result, poorly placed dialogue can detract from the flow of a series of images, slowing down the scene for the reader and losing its dramatic effect overall.

Gratuitous dialogue has always been a problem in the comic book industry, particularly during battle scenes. The action of a story is deadened when every physical exchange is accompanied by a writer’s idea of a witty verbal exchange. There are times when dialogue should accompany action – when a master martial artist instructs a student, for example, or when a cold-blooded killer demonstrates his remorselessness at gunning someone down by speaking on his cell phone during the gunshot – but most of the time, action is most effective when it is the sole focus of the panel. Dialogue, conversely, is most effective when characters are mostly static from panel to panel.

Consider the following example:

1. SAM SHADE is lighting a cigarette as he has a conversation with FEMME FATALE on the front steps of his office. She seems concerned that he does not share her sense of urgency.

FEMME: What are you doing?

SAM: *puff*

SAM: I said I needed a cigarette.

2. FEMME turns away, crossing her arms. Sam lowers his cigarette, exhaling smoke.

FEMME: Every minute we spend here is a minute we could be looking for my husband.

SAM: I understand that.

SAM: But don’t you think it’d be a little bit smarter to think about this before we go out on some wild goose chase?

FEMME: You’re not thinking. You’re smoking.

SAM: This is how I think.

SAM: Tell me about the last time you saw your husband.

3. FEMME thinks, recounting the story with her hands as she looks back at him. Sam takes another puff.

FEMME: Well… I remember he got a telephone call, about 20 minutes before he left…

FEMME: He wouldn’t tell me what it was about.

FEMME: But I remember some of what he was saying into the phone.
SAM: *puff*

FEMME: He mentioned something about a barber… he owed him some money or something.
SAM: A barber?

4. SAM flicks the barely-smoked cigarette away.

5. He begins walking down the sidewalk to the left. FEMME follows him, unsure. The cigarette rolls on the ground.

SAM: C’mon, let’s go.

FEMME: What about your cigarette?

SAM: Smoking slows me down.
SAM: I need to think.
FEMME: But you said…
SAM: Forget that.

SAM: I want you to talk to a friend of mine.
SAM: But don’t get your hopes up about your husband…

6. SAM has quite a lead on her. She struggles in her high heels to keep up.

SAM: … if he owed money to the Barber, I doubt there’ll be enough of him left to identify.

FEMME: Wait!

Panel four is the “action panel,” where a quick flick of the cigarette draws attention to the fact that Sam is flicking it away, making the moment stick out to the reader. A small amount of dialogue could be inserted here (perhaps “C’mon…” from panel 5) without detracting from the whole, but the emphasis of the panel should be the action. Conversely, panels two and five are dialogue heavy, which means that whatever action the reader sees should be muted. Standing and walking don’t require much of the characters, and they are two actions that can continue on in the mind of the reader while dialogue is being spoken.

5) The dialect rule – This one is simple: don’t write dialect unless you have a good reason for it. Dialect is hard to write well, and it does not always read the same way to the reader that it does to the writer. It also slows down a reader’s ability to process your writing, as they have to learn to recognize and understand words you’ve altered or created. And finally, it often walks the fine line of stereotyping, which could potentially offend your reader. Some notable examples of this would be having one of your black characters spouting “gangsta,” having a French character “speke lak thiz,” or having a group of southerners talk like “good ol’ boys.” Not a good idea.

In closing this chapter, let us dwell upon the differences between narration, monologue, and soliloquy:

Narration is a type of speech that takes place outside the story’s action and is used to provide the reader with details that the action and the dialogue cannot provide. Traditionally in comics, the role of the narrator was to tie scenes together with phrases like “Meanwhile” or “Back at the lab…” or with descriptions of what a character was doing. In modern comic book writing, most writers use a first person narrative style that enables the reader to gain some insight into the protagonist. I recommend the latter over the former.

Monologue refers to a large chunk of dialogue spoken by a single character. A monologue is generally written as a speech or lecture, but it could be a scene where a character is recounting a memory or explaining an important aspect of the story. Monologues naturally step out of the flow of action and emphasize their attention on the character who is speaking and the speech itself. They can be great for dramatic effect, but should be used sparingly; dialogue is much more exciting dramatically most of the time.

Soliloquy is a special type of monologue where a character speaks to him or herself. Rarely should a comic book writer employ this device. Hamlet’s “to be or not to be…” is a famous soliloquy, and while it is quite interesting and dramatic, it would not fit well in a modern comic book.